In a quest to bring the Palooza to every great American city, the Founders make a bold turn toward the future in deciding to hold the eighth edition of Colopalooza in Chicago, hometown of Paloozian inspiration, Ferris Bueller.

The question isn't "What are we going to do?" The question is "What aren't we going to do?"

Our saga begins with the arrival of several Paloozians at the bar in John Wayne Airport. Yet another exciting chapter in the Paloozian story is about to unfold.

Milo and Sean hanging out in John Wayne discussing Sean's poor decision to go with the footie-sock look for the flight.

Upon arrival in Chicago, the Paloozians begin their relaxing 3.6 mile walk under the United runway to the soothing combination of space beeps and changing colored lights.

Enjoying the benefits of the world's most navigable city, the young Paloozians ride the El from O’Hare to their hotel. Although not pictured, Sean's still wearing his footy socks.

Clem and Dink both appear a bit uneasy about the prospect of a “Colopalooza” without the “Colo” as we head down from the 5th floor of our hotel to begin this year’s festivities.

Just moments after checking in, the Paloozians walk a few blocks through the city, down the "Magnificent Mile" toward the famed Billy Goat Tavern.

The Goat is a rat-hole of a burger joint below the city that was first made famous in 1945 when the owner invoked a curse on the Cubs for not letting him bring his goat into the World Series.

But the thing that really makes this place special is it's classic gut bomb "cheezeborger", made famous by former patrons, John Belushi and Dan Aykroyd on SNL in the 70’s.

Although Chuck highly recommends the Ribeye Sandwich (which we try two days later), it’s the double cheese, chips (no fries, chips) and a frosty Old Style that hit paydirt.

After an extremely unhealthy meal at The Goat, the Paloozians head to Buddy Guy's Legends to take in some great music.

Big James & The Chicago Playboys take the stage and bust into a nice, steaming heap of Chicago Blues--heavy on the horns and bass, with a side order of coordinated leg kicks.

Milo chalks up his stick, while Big James does his thing in the background. Craig & Milo manage to blow through several games without winning a single one.

I'll give you one guess. That's right, that’s Big James. Pictured here with Milo, he's sporting some sort of paper-rock-scissors gang sign that all the kids are into.

The Palozians practice their leg kicks with one of the Chicago Playboys before heading out to the next stop on their tour.

The next destination is one of the top Irish pubs in the Loop—an area with perhaps the greatest concentration of quality bars in the world.

The Paloozians settle in with a round of that traditional Irish favorite, the lemon drop martini.

With a Chicago cop watching from across the street, Milando decides that he might go for a little joy ride around The Loop before we head on to secure our 2am snack.

Needless to say, things then completely unravel, as the boys take a 2:30 am stab at some 24 hour joint proclaiming to have "burritos as big as your head". They were massive.

After about 7 hours of drinking, the enormous burritos are more than Milo can take as he can’t stop laughing.

As usual, the cube-dwelling Paloozians totally overreach on the first day. Here they are cabbing through the darkness of Chicago contemplating a short night's rest.

Be a man. Take some Pepto, get dressed and let's go!

Wake up, walk two blocks, take the El north for 15 minutes and you're there--at one of the finest spots on the face of this earth, the friendly confines of Wrigley Field.

Chicago weather can be very tricky once you reach September, but we luck out and get one of the most perfect weekends of the entire year. 72 and sunny.

Although it has operated under a variety of different names, Murphy's Bleachers has been serving up beers to Cubs fans since the early 1900's. And when you're there, you can tell.

Big Al & Clem do what they normally do before a big game—they discuss Star Trek and debate what The Federation would and would not allow.

The place is so popular before and after Cubs games that the city lets them set up barriers that extend halfway across the street to hold in all the beer-swilling fans.

In what would have easily become the greatest Paloozian moment of all time, a talent scout for Oprah spots your heroes and targets one of it's founders to appear on her show.

The scout thought Dink would be perfect for a makeover with the Queer Eye guys scheduled to appear on Monday’s taping. But alas, Dink needs “time to think about it” and his Warhol moment is quickly gone. A moment of silence please.

In what is sure to stand the test of time as the greatest Paloozian shot ever, the boys assemble before the iconic Wrigley sign.

An afternoon at Wrigley Field is like stepping into the past. Tiny outfield stands, no in-stadium advertising, no electronic anything. The best place to see a baseball game anywhere.

The Paloozians enter the hallowed grounds of Wrigley and are immediately met by Josh the Old Style guy, who hooks us up with some cold ones right away.

Here's Clem giving us an example of what those Queer Eye guys probably wanted to do with Dean's flowing locks.

The action begins and the Paloozians are treated to a classic battle between heated rivals, the Cards and Cubs--both of which are within 2 games of the division lead.

A game at Wrigley is a unique event. I don't know if it's the wind , the sun or the Old Styles but there’s always some drama. Here Sammy gets booted after contesting a called strike.

Which of course, leads to about 2,000 beer cups being thrown onto the field by the infamous bleacher bums. The poor guys in the red shirts scurry out to clean up the mess. Cubs still win 7-6.

The Satchel Paige quote on Al's new Cubbies sweatshirt says it all: "Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, age don't matter."

After the game, the famished Paloozians partake in another Windy City tradition--the deep dish pizza. With its ultra-thick cornbread crust, you can only handle two slices at most.

Then it is off to The Second City Comedy Theater, where we learn about Himacanes, Manados and the infamous tea bags that would dominate conversation the rest of the trip.

After a long first night, followed by an afternoon of day drinking and deep dish, the Paloozians call it an early night to prep for a day that would go down in Colopalooza history.

Avoid the misery. Plan your day and do it right.

Fresh off a good night's sleep, the Paloozians embark on a cruise down the Chicago River to learn about all the amazing architecture that exists throughout downtown Chicago.

It's another great day, so the Paloozians take the opportunity to get a little sun as they float down the world's greenest river and past several famous buildings.

At the far end of our tour, the boat turns around to give us a perfect view of the Sears Tower, now the world's second tallest building.

And then on the other end, the Paloozians cruise out into Lake Michigan to get another nice view of the city before we return to port...and hit The Goat again.

After lunch, the Paloozians split into two groups—one committed to Paloozian ideals, another hell bent on drinking friggin’ zinfandel. Here's Craig looking everywhere for the Hancock Tower.

It didn't take long for Smalls to lose his balance and eventually fall over the edge of the Hancock's scenic observatory level. Luckily, he lands safely in that pool just over his left shoulder.

Chuck thinks about trying to save him on the way down, but instead just clutches this beam like a terrified infant and then enjoys this lunchbox of delicious treats.

Milo takes a breather overlooking Lake Shore Drive and the northside shoreline of Lake Michigan.

With the touristy part of the day complete, the elite group of Paloozians get back to the serious business of beer/root beer drinking. Here they are at the Berghoff Oktoberfest under Calder’s Flamingo.

Chuck and Dean discuss the many medicinal benefits of beer drinking in a noble attempt to sway Milo from a sad life of blue-drinks and sugary soda.

But it's to no avail, as young Milo continues his twisted non-beer drinking existence. Here he is matching "beverages" with his beer-loving friend, Craig.

After a few beers, Dean works up the courage to introduce himself to this friendly Chicagoan. All is going well until she hears that he blew off Oprah and the Queer Eye guys.

The Cubs logo magically appears in Craig’s beer. Is it a sign that the Curse of the Billy Goat may finally be over or yet another reminder that it still stands? Just a month later, Steve Bartman would go on to ruin the lives of millions of Cubs fans.

I mean, it’s a legitimate question. Thankfully these folks took the time to print these shirts and ask it for all of us.

After a long afternoon at Oktoberfest, Palooza Team A ventures on to the White Sox game on Chicago's rougher south side.

Paloozian brothers with similar nicknames enjoy a little White Sox baseball and some frosty malty beverages.

On the train back, another random person assumes Dean’s long hair means he loves pot and offers him some reading material for the ride. He then accuses us of being cops when we take a snapshot. It got awkward.

At this point, you may be wondering what has become of the Rebel Paloozians. Here they are embarking on a sailing excursion. Alas, we can only imagine what their journey on the SS Tea Bag is like since they didn’t bother to take any pics.

Later that night, the Rebel Paloozians make the unseemly decision to spend actual money to see Blue Man Group, a move that would go on to live in Paloozian infamy forevermore.

Luckily, the Rebel Paloozians come to their senses later that night and meet the beer-swillers for an epic night at Tilli's. Yes, I stole this shot off the internet, hence the day shot.

I don’t care you’re 55 or 7—everyone needs a day off.

Sprawled out throughout the train from Chicago to South Bend, the Paloozians try to get some rest on their way to see Notre Dame football.

Tailgating at Notre Dame is a unique experience, as most fans leave their cars early and make their way onto campus to await clearance from the Fighting Irish band before going into the stadium.

Then about 1/2 an hour before kick-off, they bust into the Notre Dame fight song and march across campus, as fans descend upon the stadium behind them.

At this point, there must be at least 40,000 people heading toward the stadium all at once from all directions. The crowd is so thick, it feels like we are leaving a game.

It’s simply impossible to not include a shot of a dude who took the time to make this golden Mother Mary hat for game days.

Finally, the Paloozians are in the stadium and ready to get this party started. The band, which is enormous, pours through the tunnel and onto the field to get the fans and team fired up.

One of the coolest things about a Notre Dame game is the student section. After each touchdown, dozens of students are hoisted above the crowd to do push-ups.

In a study of contrasts, here is the root-beer swilling Milando--donning his Irish jersey and trusty visor, looking rested and ready to see his second favorite team in action. He’s good to go.

And then there's Chuckles, he of the beer swilling contingent, dreaming about what it would be like if he hadn't lost his cell phone at Comiskey last night.

Despite being behind most of the day, the 19th ranked Domers storm back in the 4th to force the game into OT. They then get a long field goal for the win.

After the game, the Paloozians spring back into action to catch some afternoon games and enjoy some frosty cold margaritas at "The Legends", right outside the stadium.

The classic opening lines of the Notre Dame fight song, along with some nerdy looking dude who just wouldn’t get his pencil neck out of the shot.

The tailgating at Notre Dame is pretty serious, evidenced by this stunning display of trash and a young co-ed who perfects the art of sleeping while standing up against a car.

Dean and Chuck meet these guys who offer us some of their amble supply of beers. They are set up to go on for days there.

Before catching the train back to Chicago, the Paloozians take a quick tour of the old side of the campus. This is the famous "golden dome" that rises above it all.

And here is the equally famous grotto, where the Virgin Mary apparently watches over the Notre Dame football team and their beer-loving, push-upping fans.

Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Our final day of the Palooza ushers in another split Paloozian experience. Sean and Al go home early, Dean and Chuck spend the day in Chicago looking for Chuck’s phone, and Craig, Clem and Milo make their way to storied Lambeau Field.

Lombardi stoically watches the Packer faithful as they make their way in to watch Green Bay face the Minnesota Vikings to start the 2003 season.

Brett Favre (on 15 yard line) warms up before what would quickly become the most humid game Smalls ever attends—and it happens at the "frozen tundra” of Lambeau Field.

Pro Bowl running back, Ahman Green steps onto the field as the Packers are introduced before kickoff.

Milo and Craig inside one of the all-time great football stadiums in NFL history.

The game quickly gets out of control for the Pack, as the Vikes shoot out to a big early lead. Here's Randy Moss scoring a key TD just below our seats.

After the game the Paloozians decide to take in some of the local flavor before heading back to the airport. Sadly we had missed the “Perch Plate Special” by a few days.

You're still here? It's over. Go home.